Now that we have travelled through Malaysia for the past two weeks we can provide you with tips on 3 things you should never say in Malaysia:
1. “It’s only a mile, we can walk that!”
You can’t. It’s either too hot or raining too heavily. Or both. And why would you when public transport is so efficient, so cheap (pennies, literally), and is air conditioned to a temperature which your average polar bear would find a bit on the nippy side. (note: shame on you London Transport)
2. “Of course you can take a photo of my wife!”
Once you let one person do it, a queue literally forms. Which you can kind of understand in the countryside where some people have never seen blond hair and blue eyes, but is harder to accept when they want photos of Chris too. Perhaps they thought he was Wayne Rooney (before the hair transplant, I assume).
3. “A medium hot curry please!”
Because there’s nothing medium hot about a medium hot curry in Malaysia. Yikes!
And one final observation. Fantastically friendly locals. Just one example. We tried to leave a 5 Ringit tip in a restaurant but accidentally left four 1 Ringit notes and a 50 note (which looks broadly similar to a 1 after a few cheeky Tiger beers). To which the waiter laughed, pointed out our error, and then gave us back the fifty with a friendly smile.
We’ll miss you Malaysia.